I DO! I DO!

Synopsis

ACT ONE

At two dressing areas on either side of the stage, we see Michael and Agnes preparing fot the wedding. As they finish getting dressed, they look out at the assembled crowd and try to pull themselves together (All The Dearly Beloved). Chimes sound. Then, as the stained glass window comes into view, they step forward and make their vows (Together Forever). He puts the ring on her finger. They kiss. Then as they come down the aisle, they begin to experience the growing euphoria of newlywed bliss (I Do! I Do!). Alone in the bedroom, Agnes excuses herself for a moment and Michael rushes frantically to get undressed and into his nightshirt before she returns (Michael Gets Undressed). Later, in their big four-poster bed (the other principal player in this drama), Agnes and Michael seem a little bit uncertain as exactly how to proceed (Goodnight). Obviously all goes well, for when the spotlight comes back up on Michael sitting on the edge of the stage smiling at the audience, he confides that he is totally smitten (I Love My Wife). After spinning her around in the bed and doing a barefoot soft-shoe together, Michael falls asleep. Agnes steps forward and, putting on a special costume, becomes nine months pregnant in front of our eyes. In due course this leads to the hospital (The Waiting Room) and to Michael’s proud announcement of the birth of their son. Agnes appears, unpregnant, loaded down with diapers and chores as the two of them begin to discover some of the drawbacks of wedded bliss. (Love Isn’t Everything).

Michael, who has now become a successful novelist, is to be guest of honor at a fancy dinner. As he and Agnes put on their elegant clothes, they begin to bicker (Nobody’s Perfect). Returning from the dinner a few hours later, the bickering resumes and intensifies. At the height of the argument, Michael lets it slip that he has been seeing another woman. He tries to explain that it is not his fault that he’s suddenly become so irresistible (A Well Known Fact), but Agnes isn’t buying it. Wishing in some way to pay him back, she pulls out the fancy gifts she has been buying for herself and, left alone in the bedroom, she puts on her jewels and silk shawl and elaborate feathered hat and tries to imagine what her life might be like as a wicked (and available) devorcee (Flaming Agnes).

Upon Michael’s return, the battle between them reaches its peak (The Honeymoon Is Over). Agnes packs her bag and storms out, but Michael rushes after her and carries her back into the bedroom. Their anger spent, he begs her forgiveness and she tearfully relents. Then tenderly, passionately, he picks her up and carries her back to the big four-poster bed.

ACT TWO

It is a few years later and Michael and Agnes are spending New Year’s Eve at home alone, wondering if they are beginning to grow old (Where Are The Snows?). After worrying about their teenage son, who has been out all night, Agnes and Michael ruefully admit that marriage hasn’t turned out to be quite so rosy as they had expected. Still, they are not disappointed (My Cup Runneth Over) and they begin to fantasize about how life will be when their children finally grow up and leave home (When The Kids Get Married).

Just one moment later, or so it seems, their dreams come true (Father Of The Bride), but instead of being happy, both are depressed. Agnes begins to wonder what meaning her life has now that her role as wife and mother has begun to change (What Is A Woman?). When she talks about leaving, Michael assures her that he does need her, that his life and work would be empty and meaningless without her. Relieved, they sing and dance together as cascades of bright, festive ribbons come careening down all around. (Someone Needs Me).

Then, as they straighten up the room (Roll Up the Ribbons) and put on their old age makeup in front of the audience, we fast-forward to their final scene as a loving (but quarrelsome) old couple, preparing to move to a smaller apartment and leave the house, and the bed, to a young married couple. Sitting on the four-poster bed, they assess their lives together in a simple and unaffected way (This House). And when the doorbell rings, signaling the arrival of the new couple, Michael manages to pick Agnes up and carry her back over the threshold just as he had done some fifty years before.